As I sit here woofing down my breakfast before my tiny tyrants steal it from me, I can't help but think my blog deserved a part 2 of my Diaries of a stay at home mom post. You see, I thoroughly enjoy having my own thing a part from being a mother. I love my job, and I love being creative. Fashion, makeup, styling different outfits, these are all things I enjoy and use to escape those crazy and damn hectic moments of motherhood. I don't want to lose myself again.
It took me 3 years to get my mojo back, and to feel myself again. During the past 3 years, I put my children before myself in an unhealthy way. I would eat at the end of the day after Chris got home, and instead take care of the kids. I wouldn't brush my teeth, get dressed, and even neglected my skincare routine that I so dearly cherish. My blog was always put on the back burner and I chose to create half ass content most of the time. I got lazy. Depressed. Anxious.
Every woman deals with motherhood differently. I wasn't one of the women that was able to be calm and nonchalant about everything. I was hardly able to relax, and on edge most of the time. I felt like a failure because I couldn't handle motherhood, my relationship with Chris, and work at the same time. Balance was not an easy thing. I think that also comes with new baby territory. It's new and scary.
Now, my kids play and get dirty everyday. We don't stress about keeping outfits perfect. We don't stress about precise nap and bedtimes. I'm a lot more go with the flow than I was in the beginning, and I'm learning to embrace the chaos. I've accepted that my house will only be perfectly clean and organized while my children are sleeping, and once their eyes pop open in the morning, disaster will strike again.
Life is too damn short to spend it trying and pretending to be perfect. I know these days won't last long, and I'll be home in a quiet, empty house while they are away at school. Kai won't swing from the dining room light fixture anymore, and he won't look up at me, say "mummy" in his sweet voice and kiss me on the lips when he's 13, and "too cool" for me. Madelyn already thinks she's a teenager, and has decided that I'm now "mom" and daddy is called by his name, "Chris".
In the grand scheme of things, this season of life is so short. The photos in todays post are from last weekend at Bedners Farm. It had been a while since we took them out and had a real family day. Typically, my entire weekend is spent working on the blog and doing things I couldn't do during the week, but I've finally gotten my shit together a bit and hopefully it sticks so we can do more weekends like this!
